That One Shrimp Dinner That Got Weird (But Taught Me Something)

Okay, so here’s what happened.

We’re at my in-laws’. It’s a casual dinner — you know, the kind where someone brings salad in a Tupperware and there’s a half-finished bottle of wine on the counter. Nothing fancy, just family. Cozy, familiar.

And then my mother-in-law brings out this shrimp dish. It smells great. The kind of buttery, garlicky, shrimp-y aroma that makes your stomach sit up and say “yes please.”

Except… the shrimp still had their shells on.

And — here’s the kicker — they weren’t deveined.

Now listen, I’m not trying to be dramatic. But that little black line? Still there. Bold as ever. And in that moment, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to eat it, and I definitely wasn’t going to give it to the kids. Cue internal panic spiral.

Do I say something? Is this rude? Am I being picky? Should I just suck it up?

We smiled. We thanked her. We scooped up other sides, made vague comments about how the kids “weren’t feeling shrimp tonight.” Classic polite dodging.

But on the drive home, my brain kept chewing on it: Is deveining shrimp really that big of a deal? Or am I just overthinking it?

Turns out, it’s not as black-and-white as I thought.

Why This Isn’t Just About Shrimp

Let’s be honest — this is one of those small things that kind of isn’t that small.

Because it’s not just about how shrimp are prepared. It’s about food boundaries. Cleanliness. Culture. What we’re taught is “normal” or “acceptable” at the table.

It’s also about family — and how hard it is to navigate food stuff without offending someone who just spent an hour cooking for you. Especially when you’re trying to raise your kids with your own standards and also not seem like That Parent.

So yeah. Shrimp. But also, not just shrimp.

So, What Is Deveining, and Does It Matter?

Okay, quick science moment (I’ll keep it short, promise).

The “vein” in shrimp is actually its digestive tract. It’s a thin, sometimes dark, line that runs along the back. Sometimes it’s clean. Other times it has grit, sand, or… you know, shrimp poop.

Technically, it’s safe to eat — the shrimp is cooked, the bacteria are gone, and millions of people eat shrimp this way around the world with no issue.

But also… ew? I mean, not to be squeamish, but if I can avoid eating the shrimp’s last meal, I’m gonna.

Here’s the Thing: It’s Cultural Too

This part really surprised me.

In a lot of Western kitchens, especially in the U.S., we’re taught that deveining is just part of prep. It’s like taking the husk off corn or peeling a banana. You just do it.

But in many other cultures — including lots of Asian, Caribbean, and Mediterranean cooking traditions — shrimp are often served whole, shells and veins intact. Why? Because the shell adds flavor. Because it’s how grandma did it. Because the messiness is part of the fun.

So what felt wrong or “unclean” to me might feel completely normal and delicious to someone else.

That’s humbling.

So… Who’s Right?

Honestly? No one. Or everyone. Depends how you look at it.

Deveining isn’t mandatory. It’s optional — a choice based on texture, aesthetics, and what you’re used to.

Some people don’t mind the vein. Some don’t even notice it. Some will swear that leaving it in makes the shrimp more flavorful. Others, like me, find it unappetizing and would rather skip dinner than crunch down on sandy grit.

It’s all about what you grew up with — and what you’re willing to adapt to now.

Want to Devein Shrimp at Home? It’s Easier Than You Think

If you’re like me and want your shrimp vein-free, here’s how to do it without losing your mind:

What you need:

• A small knife (or shrimp deveiner if you’re fancy)

• Cold water

• Some chill music or a podcast to pass the time

Steps:

1. Rinse your shrimp under cold water.

2. Peel the shell off (unless you’re keeping it on for a specific dish).

3. Make a shallow cut along the back.

4. Use the tip of the knife to lift out the vein.

5. Rinse again.

It’s not hard, but it does take a little time — which is probably why my mother-in-law skipped it. Fair enough.

What If You’re at Someone Else’s Table?

This is where it gets sticky. Not literally, though shrimp are kind of sticky.

You’re at someone’s house. They’ve cooked. You notice something about the dish — whether it’s the shrimp or the seasoning or the hygiene — that makes you hesitate.

Do you speak up? Do you just eat around it? Do you make an excuse?

I don’t have a perfect answer. But here’s what worked for me:

• I led with kindness. Gratitude first. Always.

• I chose silence in the moment. Because sometimes, saying nothing is more respectful than saying something.

• I planned for future conversations. Not to criticize — just to share. Gently. Later.

Food is personal. So is family. Navigating both? That takes grace.

Can You Adapt Shrimp Recipes Without Making Grandma Cry?

Yep.

If you want to meet halfway — honoring tradition and keeping your stomach happy — here are some ideas:

• Use pre-deveined shrimp. No shame in the frozen aisle.

• Make two versions of the dish. One shell-on, one peeled and cleaned.

• Involve family in prep. Sometimes cooking together smooths over differences.

• Explain your reason. “The texture just throws me off” goes a lot further than “This is gross.”

Food should bring us together, not pull us apart.

How Long Does Cooked Shrimp Last? (Because Leftovers Happen)

You’ve got shrimp leftovers? Lucky you.

Here’s how to keep them tasty:

• Store them in the fridge in an airtight container — max 2–3 days.

• Reheat gently in a skillet with a splash of broth or butter. Low heat is key.

• Avoid the microwave if you can. It’s the fastest route to rubbery sadness.

Or just eat them cold in a salad. Honestly, cold shrimp tossed with lemon, arugula, and a little olive oil? Chef’s kiss.

Final Thoughts from the Shrimp Situation

So… do I still think shrimp should be deveined?

Yes. For me, anyway.

But do I understand now that there’s no single “correct” way to serve shrimp — and that my preferences are just that: mine?

Also yes.

That dinner turned out fine. My kids were happy with rice and veggies. My mother-in-law didn’t notice we skipped the shrimp. And I learned something important — about food, about culture, and about how small things sometimes open big conversations.

If you’ve ever been in a similar spot — awkward food moment, cultural misunderstanding, or just a “wait, is this normal?” kind of dinner — I’d love to hear about it.

Leave a comment. Send a DM. Or just take this as a gentle reminder that food is messy. And human. And that’s kind of the whole point.